You’ve been there before, I am sure. Sitting at the holiday dinner table with all your relatives. Things are going well, until your child acts in a way typical for a child. Then Aunt Mavis decides it is her responsibility to give you a 4 ½ hour lecture about all that you are doing “wrong” in your parenting and how if you listen to her advice, your child will be so well-behaved and perfect (as if he wasn’t already!). One thing to keep repeating to yourself (like a mantra) is that they mean well. The parenting advice is given from a place of affection for you and your children.

However much they mean well, though, it is still difficult to listen to your choices being criticized. Here are some ideas to handle the oft unasked for “advice.”

• Don’t complain. If you don’t share your concerns (ie sleeping issues) they might not feel like you are asking for help.

• Take the opportunity to educate them (though this can cause arguments and hurt feelings if it is not approached with diplomacy). Use this option with caution and be sure to have your facts straight. Sometimes people just aren’t interested in the latest research.

• Change the subject! “So, you are still nursing your 12 month old? Don’t you think it is time to wean?” “Wow! How about those [insert sports team here]? Think they are going to win their next game?”

• They often criticize because when you do things differently, they feel like you are judging their choices. Reassure them that you know they did the best they could with the information they had at the time.

• Leave no room for argument. “Yes, we co-sleep. It works well for our family.” If you don’t sound uncertain, they will realize it is not a topic for discussion.

• Joke about it! “Yea, we still nurse. We are looking into nearby colleges so Polly can come nurse between classes.”

• Smile and nod. This goes far! Just accept the advice and disregard it when you leave.

We have many, many more tips, ideas and thoughts about handling criticism (and sympathetic ears too)–so come to one of our meetings! Come meet some people who WON’T criticize you and that don’t think  nursing–extended or otherwise, baby wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, gentle-disciplining parents are weird.

We typically cover this topic in November–so we can steel you up for the holiday hassles family affairs. However, we are willing, and able, to help you when you need it.